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Creating the life you want...Is it really all mindset?

Updated: Sep 7, 2022

Is it really all about mindset?

I recently had a conversation with someone regarding mindset as it pertains to wealth building. The opinion being expressed was that everyone has the same set of rules & therefore we all have the same opportunities. Lots of people chimed in on this & as I read through the comments, I couldn't help but notice that no one was taking real experiences into account as they said people are lazy, don't want to do the work, or any other number of reasons that were listed off. I was taken aback & decided to play devil's advocate. I'm going to give my reply & thoughts on this. I hope it helps those who can't seem to catch a break in life see that there are factors that are beyond your immediate control to consider when dealing with situations. There are also things that you can do to prepare the ground to receive what you are planting. I also hope to give you some practical tools & suggestions to overcome whatever obstacles may be in your way. Let's dive in shall we?

Understanding Your History

There have been so many times in my life where I have come up against an obstacle that I felt I could not surmount. These are usually of the mental & emotional variety but I've also had physical challenges that require me to think outside of the box that I have put myself into or life has conditioned me into. This brings to mind my struggles when I went to the military & my personal history of trauma. Folks when I went into the military, I was 5' 7" weighing in at 118 pounds, but I was NOT physically fit. I struggled to do push-ups, sit-ups, & would frequently stop running in the middle of my two mile run. I had a mental block that I could not get over. I was terrified & felt really weak. I even had a drill sergeant ask me why I sucked so badly given how small I was.

I had no answer other than the fact that I couldn't push myself beyond my physical discomfort to achieve my fitness goals. I started hearing stories of soldiers who couldn't pass their test being held back for months at a time. I was afraid that this would happen to me so I began the anxiety cycle & ruminating about it. I had a history of being the underdog & things not turning out like I wanted them to. I was really afraid that my history was coming to haunt me. I finally decided that I wasn't going to get held back & guess what? I became the comeback kid. It wasn't until years later & some more setbacks that I realized how my history was significantly effecting my present circumstances. This is the case for most people. There is almost always something in your history that is coloring the lens of how you view the present moment.

Enough Rambling Let's Answer This Question!

So to answer the question posed in the title, yes. It truly is all about your mindset. However few people really understand what effects the mind & causes experiences to happen. Our minds are very complicated which is why so many people were disappointed in the results they got from the Secret. Yes thoughts become things & you can create with those thoughts, however you must become aware of what your conditioned thoughts are first (subconscious programming). If you have experienced repetitive disappointment over the years, to think that if you just think positively for a week you will manifest your deepest desires is another deep disappointment waiting to happen (& you're actually manifesting if you think about it).

We've all heard the saying, If nothing changes, nothing changes, I shared my experience so that you can see that it's not always the laziness card. We can desire a thing with all we have & want to accomplish it, but if our mental & emotional state does not support that we usually won't realize that desire. Something has to change within us to shift our PERSPECTIVE. Lack of motivation can be rooted in many things. Here's what mine was rooted in...I tried to participate in several physical activities when I was younger but my mom couldn't afford to keep me in them. Instead of dealing with the disappointment I convinced myself that I didn't want to do those things anyway. So I had this block when it came to achieving anything physical. The thought was what's the use in trying? I won't be able to participate anyway. Sometimes things masquerade as laziness, procrastination, & making excuses. These things are called depression, anxiety, & all sorts of mental issues that haven't gotten appropriate attention as very real hurdles in our lives.

What Can I Do About It?

1. Accept whatever state you are in.

2. Decide what you want to do about it.

3. Realistically decide what you CAN do about it. Sometimes we set very lofty goals because we want to make up for lost time. Push yourself but do not set unachievable goals unless you want to stay in the cycle of disappointment & depression.

4. Set about doing what you can do.

5. Encourage yourself along the way.

6. Review what worked, what didn't, & possible reasons why.

7. Recalibrate & start again if you need to.

8. Remember to breathe, eat, sleep, & connect with safe others.

I hope that this post is helpful to you as you navigate your life & change your narrative. I just put out my first podcast episode of the year (Finding Meaningful Connection) so give a listen when you get a chance. Please take care of yourselves & reach out for help if you need it. I'll see you along the journey of life.

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