The concept of forgiveness is highly misunderstood. It's not what you think.
Hey Folks! I am offering forgiveness coaching to those who think they could benefit from practicing forgiveness for themselves along their journey. Yes, you may end up forgiving others along the way as well. I have found in my journey that it was extremely difficult to give forgiveness due to a few factors:
1. I thought forgiveness meant letting those who harmed me off the hook.
2. I thought I had to let these harmful people back into my space within the same capacity as they had been before.
3. I used unforgiveness as a boundary.
4. I thought if the other person didn't apologize I couldn't forgive.
5. I thought forgiveness made me weak.
6. I lacked appropriate boundaries when it came to others hurting me & so I went to the polar opposite when I realized how much I let others get away with.
7. I didn't realize just how much I held on to hurt (with good reason to).
8. I thought forgiving meant forgetting.
9. I thought forgiving meant not talking about it anymore.
These were my reasons for holding on & not forgiving. It seemed so airy fairy & something I could not do. Honestly I did not realize that what I was doing was not forgiving. I kept playing the hurt & betrayal over & over & it locked me into a state of perpetual victimization & even physical pain that I did not deserve.
I'm in support groups for those who have suffered egregious harm & they vehemently resist forgiveness because of the way religious groups & those who have not suffered such violations represent what it is.
Forgiveness is not a one & done thing. It is a practice that when wholeheartedly commit to for yourself, can heal you in ways you never knew were possible. If you have been deeply wounded by someone it is comparable to getting a physical wound. No physical wound heals overnight. It can take months or even years to get back full functioning of an injured body part. Sometimes that body part is never the same. We are also left with scars. No matter how we try to act like we were never wounded, the scar is there. It may not hurt anymore but we still have the reminder of the wound. That is the nature of wounds & it is normal to struggle in the healing process.
It takes time to heal. Don't let anyone rush your process. You know when you are being vengeful & just want to get back at someone & keep the cycle of pain going. You also know when you need to let go & get them & what they did out of your mind, heart, & soul. If you are ready to be released from the hurt, pain, & constant replay of betrayals & traumas then you may be ready to forgive...When you are ready.
If you would like to participate in this healing process, reach out. Visit my website beyondtheguru.com & book online. You can also message me on Instagram. I will be doing my first group absolutely free so if you are ready to show up in your life in a different way go sign up NOW! Spots are limited. Talk to you soon!