You can have, do, or be anything! That is what the famed book, The Secret told us. Just think about what you want & you will attract it into your life. It was touted as the new way to have all of the material possessions & love you can stand.
Hold On One Minute. What's the Catch?
Hold up just a minute. The Law of Attraction isn't working for me. What's the Catch? The catch is that we have to get passed our subconscious & unconscious mind to be able to even begin to put thoughts toward what we want. Trauma can skew what we think we want in our lives. It damages our core belief system. As survivors we also do a lot to blunt & numb our emotions, thoughts, & feelings. So how can we know what we truly want? Codependency & love can often be intermingled with each other as well. This can make for a volatile mix that continuously brings us relationships & experiences that reinforce the belief that we are unworthy & overshadow our very real need for healthy, balanced love with boundaries.
The Law of Attraction has been used as a quick fix to material lack & longing for love without the real work of seeing what our core beliefs are surrounding these issues. If you have a core belief that you are not worthy of love then you will not attract consistent loving experiences because that is not a part of your core belief system. You are not on that energy vibration & no matter how much you sit & think about having that love, you will not experience it in a sustainable way.
Disclaimer: There may be times in your life where people will come who will love you unconditionally. They will give you glimpses of what love is supposed to be & this usually helps us recognize where we have not been loved properly. Childhood Trauma Survivors may not experience a life completely devoid of loving experiences but we often feel we are losing out in this category because in our formative years we were denied this type of love. There are also those who have been abused & somehow they find that loving experience that helps them heal to their core. It helps shift their core beliefs. It is possible but if you find yourself hitting a brick wall then keep reading.
Continuous Victimization & The Law of Attraction
You have probably heard of or experienced this yourself. Victims of sexual violence are often re-victimized at some point in their lives. How & why does this happen? Is it because I am attracting predators? Is it because I want this to happen? I myself fell into this trap, thinking I deserved what I got. I "attracted it" somehow. I would like to release you from the prison of thinking you did something to cause this to occur. Predators force us into a state of being or energy that is easily recognized by others who would take advantage of this forced opening. These people forcibly take away our boundaries & without therapy, intervention by protectors, & feeling safe again we can stay in this energy state for years. Individuals pick up on this & unfortunately take advantage of it either by gaining your trust & then violating you or an outright violation altogether. Sometimes they are not even aware of what they are doing (crazy I know but it's the nature of humans who avoid dealing with pain). We also make poor decisions about our safety when we have been blasted open in this way. The way we prevent this from reoccurring in our lives is to deal with what has happened to us. If we don't we remain perpetual victims to the one who originally wounded us.
Finding the Way Out
Finding safe people who you can tell your story to without them trying to "fix" you is a great start. Reading up on how Trauma blunts our ability to see & feel the world as it is will help put things into perspective as well. For as much as you feel that God/the Universe is not on your side, as you shift the lens you look at life with you will attract what you desire. Here at Beyond the Guru we hold space for you to tell all of your story just as it happened. No sugar coating, no hiding, tell us your story. We will help you begin the process of breaking the cycles that no longer serve you.